Watch Helplessly As I Take A Sledgehammer To Established History

 Many, many things happened in stories since last time. I wrote a haiku about the AMC hit show: Better Call Saul, and another haiku about being hit by a semi truck. We also learned many things about etiology and origin stories, and we wrote one, which is what this AP is about. I decided to do the origins of Columbus Day but from the point of view of someone in the far future, so here’s a key that will help you understand some of the things that aren’t directly clear in the story.

Colombis: verbal deformation of Columbus

Frantsch Lewis Annia: verbal deformation of French Louisiana

Jorge the janitor: verbal deformation of George Washington

Onto the story:

        It’s been a long day. The year’s 2,258-ish. Nobody kept a perfect count. The military was just called south to Arizona, so the bandits have been everywhere. You slow your horse down near an inn in the unlikely event it wasn't boarded up a week ago in preparation for the surge in bandits. You find it not only open, but admission is free tonight so long as you bother to listen to someone’s lesson, as per a note on the door. This isn't unusual, many people who  studied history had not found a good use for it, as any job where it was useful was very high class and sought after. You continue reading, only for it to make much more sense suddenly. It was a Colombis Day special. The owner  probably only put this policy in place to prevent a flood of people, so they weeded out anyone who wouldn't want to sit through a history lesson. You walk inside, this place looks like it’s had one person a month for the past 50 years. You would ask yourself how this place stays afloat, but it’s not like anyone would ever even care to sell land in Kansas. There's an old radio in the corner, it’s not on because there isnt a station for the next fifty miles. There are no sounds other than the wind. Pretty normal for Kansas.

Oh, right, you’ve still gotta listen to that history lecture. The guy at the front desk had yellow tinted glasses and a heavy coat on. His sleepy expression instantly broken by your presence makes it seem as if you’re the only person to have passed by all day. There’s already  a chair pulled up at his desk, so you take a seat. Small talk and greetings were a mark of the upper class, something which neither of you were not a part of.

 The innkeeper begins: “Back in 1,492, The British and Indian armies arrived and established colonies in Murica. From then until 1,776, their rule went unopposed. England and India stole whatever they wanted for themselves, and nobody could stop them, butIn that year of 1,776, three men: Jorge, Frantsch, and Colombis met up. Jorge had been a lowly janitor for most of his life, and he had never left the British-Indian colonies in Murica. Colombis had been out for glory his entire life, and wanted to leave a legacy of something so important, there would forever be one day off annually in the calendar. Frantsch Lewis Annia was an extremely wealthy landowner who didn’t care for British-Indian rule, and as such the British-Indian governments didn’t care for him or the thousands of acres of land he owned out west, past the Ms. Ippy river. Once these three men met at an ice cream mixer in Bostin, they drafted plans for a revolution within the month. None of them cared for reforming what they already knew was a broken system that many people hated. In London and New Delhi, the system was NOT broken, as India and Britain already had all they wanted. So, because Colombis and Frantsch were both rich, high-class people who could read, they decided it would be their job to create the founding documents of this new nation that would rise after the successful revolution, while it would be Jorge’s job to rally for support in northern areas, where they could distract the British until Colombis and Frantsch could bring in larger armies of mercenaries while the British were far away. This plan  seemed watertight until Colombis and Frantsch realized they just weren’t fond of the British. None of their thieving of resources, or lack of representation, or anything like that effected them as much as it did Jorge. Jorge was the only one with actual objections to their rule, due to him being a lowly janitor. Jorge had experience in how the british and Indians were able to put down discontent, and silence opposition, and why their rule was bad for the people in Murica. Colombis and Jorge ended up switching jobs, so Jorge could help assist in the creation of the founding documents, and now Colombis goes to incite revolt in the North. Meanwhile, Jorge and Frantsch led large mercenary armies in the South while the British are distracted. Over 117 days and nights, Jorge and Frantsch managed to hammer out the Constitution of Independence, highlighting their dislikes about British-Indian rule and how much better Muricans could run the government on their own.  So, on the second day of July in 1,776, Colombis rallied enough men to begin a revolution-“ 

    You cut him off. “That’s not when Colombis day is. That’s today, and today isn’t that.” 

    “I’m getting to it, you silly goose.” he snorts back.

    “Alright, continue.” You reply in a less snarky tone than before. 

    “So Colombis’ revolt is a complete failure, he had no idea how to command an army or how to raid for supplies, most of his men melt into the forest and he goes missing. However, the Mexican government offered to intervene with Jorge and Frantsch so as to rid their borders of an untrustworthy government, after the British had covertly supported rebels in Mexico five years before. Because there was no other option, Frantsch and Jorge accepted the help, even at the risk of the country being more reliant on Mexico in the future. The Independence War was quick, the British were no match for the modernized Mexican army and the professional mercenaries hired from Frantch’s vast wealth. Frantsch ends up ceding his personally owned land to the new Murican government, nearly doubling its size. Two years after the British left the continent in defeat, Colombis came out of hiding. At this point, nobody really knew about him, so he had his memoirs from when he attempted to lead a revolt published and then he died. Nobody knows how, but the most popular theory is that he shot an arrow into the sky and it hit him in his heart.”

    You’re puzzled. You respond feebly: “He shot an arrow in the sky..”

    “Yes. It landed in his heart. He wasnt terribly smart.”

    “Huh. I’ve gotta get stepping. Bye.”

    You retire to a room that is now yours for the night because you sat down and listened to the story. It’s empty except for a bed, a desk, and a closet with those coat hangers that you can’t steal. Lying down on your bed, you take it all in. Wow. That’s how this land was founded. All of that, for a free hotel room. Tomorrow will be a long day. Maybe you’ll pass a museum, see if that innkeeper was talking nonsense or not. Hopefully the roads would have more soldiers on them than before, or there might be another sea of bandits.

    So, that was the story. But that’s not all!

I also made some stills from the story, one depicting you going to the hotel and one depicting the revolution.

In conclusion, I liked worldbuilding during this project because it’s one of my favorite hobbies. If I did this project again,I probably would’ve managed my time better.